Tales From The Treadmill (Day 15)

Well I have done it.  Despite having some really dreadfully bad days, I have only missed ONE workout. I go 5 times a week.  I am feeling rather good about that.

Can we talk?

There should be some general rules that everyone follow at the gym.

We should all want these things.

They aren't difficult.

Like, wipe down your machine when you're done.  Nobody wants to touch your icky germs.  I don't know where those hands have been.  The clorox wipes are right there - there are at least a dozen dispensers.  USE them people!!!!

Phew!  I feel better.

I have been seeing lots of the "beautiful people" lately.  A couple of girls I swear could be on that ridiculous show, Jersey Shore.  Seriously.  If they spend half as much time working out as they did flirting, they would have some serious muscles!  The one girl made me laugh so hard I almost peed myself.  She would lift one weight and look around the room to see who was watching, put it down, lift and repeat.  It was pathetic.  Of course she was competing against Jersey Girl #2 who had all the boys pouring over her and her thong sticking out the back of her pants.

There was another "beautiful people" incident involving a completely different gal.  This one was on the treadmill.  Right next to the mirrors.  Normally, not a big deal.  Through the whole workout she kept staring at herself.  Fluffing her hair.  Touching her arm.  Touching her butt.  It was crazy.

Then there was the beautiful guy.  Like holy cow beautiful.  It was like a kid in a toy store - I wanted to touch him.  No, not in some sick way, but because he looked almost surreal.  He was on the stair climber and I swear his body was perfect.  Long and lean, almost like a dancer's body, but very masculine.  His bum was, and I do not joke, rock solid.  It was truly amazing.  This dude works it!

Now, there are the people that are doing crazy things that really make me question their motives.

Maybe you can help me understand why they would do this.  There's the person who has the treadmill incline set at this insane amount and they have to hang on to keep moving.  What's the point!?  There's the person who I saw walking backwards on the treadmill - seriously I swear - backwards!  And there's always at least one or two people hanging on for dear life on the stair climber.  Uh, Dude?  Kinda defeats the purpose, doesn't it?

This week has brought my attention to crazy runner man and super-hero sweat guy.

Crazy runner man runs on the treadmill at 9.5 and I swear his knees hit his chest.  Occasionally he jumps off the treadmill (while it's still on) and does a stretch on the area behind him and jumps back on.  I was certain he would either do a back-flip or get flung off the back of that bad boy like a sling-shot and hit the machine behind him, but nope.  If I tried that, I'd be in traction.

My new hero at the gym?  Super-Hero Sweat Guy.  He's got to be in his 70's.  I swear.  And he can go on the stair climber for forever.  But, he's got this crazy sweat thing like I've never seen.  He has sweat literally running down his face to where it almost appears to be a faucet or it looks like maybe it's shooting out of pores.  I've never seen anything like it.

Thank heavens for the entertainment factor at the gym.  Seriously, I might lose it otherwise.