The other day I mentioned that I realized that my teenage son has some fears that I really hadn't ever considered, but have recently become a concern of mine.
He is afraid of being an adult. Now, not in the sense that he'd love to not live here and have to listen to my lovely voice each and every day, but in the sense of growing up. You know, figuring out what you want to be, going to college, having a real job and being responsible for all the glorious things in life. I think the poor kid is panicking. He told me today while I was was buying him a few necessities (a.k.a. underwear and socks) that he doesn't want to get rid of the clothes that he doesn't like anymore if they still fit because what if he can't afford new shirts? For heaven's sake! The poor kid is a senior in high school and is just turning 18 years old. I think he's convinced himself that his "fun" is over after he graduates high school.
I was not like this at all, so this is a difficult one for me. Perhaps I was the exception to the rule (well, me and most of my friends) because I never feared growing up. I despised high school and took extra classes and summer school and graduated after my 3rd year, at the age of 16. I was working full-time and had moved out by the time I was 18. My best friend was married at 18 and had her first child at 19.
So, I feel sorry for my big old kiddo. It's not like we're kicking him out tomorrow or anything. He's welcome to stay here as long as he likes provided he works and/or goes to school, follows our rules, and respects our home and all who live in it.
So, the question to you all is...
Did you fear being an adult? Growing up? Did your children? Your friends? Should I be concerned?
8 comments:
hmmm a very difficult one, to do with security I suppose...I couldn't wait to grow up, but then I had alot to get away from so who knows what is best!
Sarah
p.s. I haven't had time for Google reader, I am going to try it next week
I remember going through some of those same fears. And I know 2 of my three kids did. I work with a guy who STILL is going through it...and he's 30!!! I actually think it's not that unusual. Hopefully he'll get a handle on what he wants to do after graduation and then will feel less settled. Have a marvelous day!
I didn't as a teenager but I have my worries now. Nothing major but just little things here and there. This big world can be a little scary for some of us. I think as long as he has support and love from you and the rest of the family he will be just fine.
I personally never had these feelings but I think it sounds perfectly normal.
Oh, my heart aches for him... I was afraid too. And who wouldn't be? The news is not good! Maybe if he finds his passion... like in the new book by Marcus Buckingham, he'll be so enthused about learning and doing that work, he'll forget. Because, you know, things sound scary out there in the world, but rarely does it touch our lives as personally as we think it will.
I think it's harder for boys because I think they are hard-wired to be the providers and I can understand how that would be scary! It's great that he's able to express this to you! My son is almost 22 and he calls me all the time for my supportive talks with him. I would just say to be there for him if he needs you. I think that gives them the security they need.
Hi there! Glad you stopped by and like my name!!lol I hated it growing up and just started to appreciate it because it isn't common!lol I guess you have to age to appreciate things!lol Now, I have an 18 yr old daughter and she can't wait to grow up! to the point she is scaring me that she'll get herself into debt! going to college, working pt, has new car payment, cell phone, ins. and now she wants her own place!Ouch She thinks she can do it all and has been..except for her own place; but we know what it costs to be a total "adult"! It's cute that he is thinking ahead though and good that he is a little scared! Boys must be more cautious!???Hope you stop by again - Sincerely Jeannette
I wasn't that worried about going to college, but did worry a lot about figuring out what I wanted to do with my life once I got there - and still even at 30, I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up :) I go to work everyday thinking 'is this it?... I sure hope not.'
I think some of us are geared towards being a worrier. It drives my husband batty sometimes with all my what if's and questions about the future - that obviously can't be answered, we just have to wait and see what happens, but it's a comfort thing for me. I feel better just being able to express all my concerns to my husband, so I bet it's the same for your son. It's a scary world out there. If I read or watch too much in the news, I think our society's going to hell in a handbasket. It's just awful the things that are happening out there. I think this is just a scary and nerve-racking transition that your son is going through.
I have to say, it's kind of cute that he's not sure if he'll be able to afford new shirts or not. It's better than some of the spoiled brats who demand new things. It's nice to hear your son is already geared towards saving. He sounds like a great kid and he already has that going for him. I think it sounds like he's going to do great! :)
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