I NEED to Whine

Okay, I don't like to whine.  I don't like to complain.  It's not my style.  But, I've just got to get this off my chest.  

I'm not certain if you do this where you live, but here, the children in grades K-6 get parties for Halloween, "Winter" (to be politically correct, but in MY house we call it the CHRISTmas party), and the end of the year.  These parties are handled by mom's of the children in each class.  These moms are called Room Moms.  Basically, there are 4 moms per room that volunteer (and then are chosen) to plan the class parties, purchase the teacher gifts, etc.  Other parents have the opportunity to send it items needed for the parties and bake goodies.  

I have been a room mom since my oldest was in 3-year-old preschool.  That gives me 15 years experience.  I have never ever complained.  Not once.  Until now.

First, there is a "tea" for the room moms to meet the teacher, go over her specific do's and don'ts for the classroom and to get to know each other.  Two of the four of us showed up and the "other mom" acted like a child with ADHD and kept changing the subject from the class and parties to other stuff.  This woman was already on my "list" as the rules specifically state, no children and guess what, she brought hers.  

So, the teacher's number one rule this year was no younger siblings at the parties.  Well, her class - her rules.  Two other mothers had a complete and total melt-down.  I'm talking vicious here.  They wanted their wee ones to be at the parties and they weren't taking no for an answer.  The other mom and I both bit our lips and hoped the storm would pass.  Fast forward to our first official "room-mom meeting".  I planned the meeting (no one else stepped up) in a public place, hoping that the atmosphere would eliminate any outrageous behavior by the two overly outspoken moms.  WRONG.  One mom used the f-word so often and so loudly that I was actually embarrassed (and I do not embarrass easily).  

Fast forward again to the party plan.  Of all 20 students, 1 parent volunteered to help out with the parties.  She is willing to buy items or bake things that we might need.  Of the 20 students, only 15 paid their fee of $5.00 for the year of parties.  This puts a serious "ouch" in planning.  So, I being the frugal mom that I am, suggested that we seriously cut back on some of the plans because although I don't ask to be reimbursed for the monies I spend on the parties, two of the other moms made it clear that they do.  This blew up into an insane e-mail argument and I was made to be the bad guy - they claimed that I was trying to spoil the fun of the children and that we should go after parents and demand they contribute to the parties.  Okay, not to be rude, but if I filled out a form that said I was not willing to send in anything for class parties nor was I willing to bake good for said parties, I would be a bit ticked if I was being badgered by some mom about this.  I also know that you can't chase these people down for money - it doesn't work and you just end up looking ridiculous.  

After careful consideration, I decided that I would not be labeled as the bi*** mom who wouldn't work with the other moms and sent them an e-mail stating that I would not be held responsible for the success or failure of the parties due to funds or parental participation.  I would be turning the money over to the three of them and they could choose who would be in charge of that.  I even said that I thought this was all quite ridiculous and I would not be sucked in to this attitude and behavior.  The party is for the kids and the focus of this fact has been lost.  

Somehow I ended up not only being attacked by these other women, but now some of them are making it a point to not speak to me and they are being quite obvious about it.  So, although my heart says just back out and let these other moms do the party, I won't do that because my son loves that his mama is a room mom.  But, what on earth should I do!?  This seems like high school all over again and I'm just completely confused and blown away by this behavior.  So, maybe I'm wrong and I should have kept my mouth shut and just let the party plan proceed and deal with running out of money if it happened rather than be concerned that we split the funds we did have and not allow anything additional to be spent.  Maybe I should have done something different.?  I desperately want to confront this one mom who talked to me on the slide and then stabbed me in the back, but I'm not a confrontational kind of person, so I'm not sure.  

But, I'm happy to have this off my chest and although these other 3 women haven't heard my rant, I at least have said it and despite the fact that I still feel like crying, I do feel a tiny bit better.

Any advice?