Parenting

"In the end, it's not about what we do for our children, but about what we teach them to do for themselves." ~ Ann Landers

I read this quote today.  It was shared by a friend on facebook.

I recently heard another friend share about the dilemmas she has with parenting her youngest.

I have one son who I call the prodigal son.  At every turn this boy tests my love.  And patience.

My pastor shared an interesting thought at church, he said, "Do not bail your children out of circumstances they face when they make mistakes.  Allow them to face the consequences of their choices."

He also said, "We should parent our children as our Father parents us."  

Deuteronomy 8:5  "Know then in your heart that as a man disciplines his son, so the Lord your God disciplines you".

The Lord does not rescue us and fix every wrong done to us.  And yet his love never fails.

Sometimes we have to let go.

Sometimes we have to stay strong.

Being a parent is the most difficult job ever.  

Letting our children face consequences that are painful for them is so difficult.  Watching them make mistakes that can change the outcome of their lives makes you want to scream.

I have told my children something to get them to think about the choices they make in life.  I told them to imagine when you are born you have a backpack.  Throughout your life, this backpack is on your back, it never ever goes away.  Every choice you make goes into this backpack and remains there for forever.  Every choice.  The positive choices are weightless. They are like feathers in your backpack.  The poor choices, or negative ones are like a brick.  The thing to remember is that they never ever go away.  You carry them, on your back, for the rest of your life.  

I realize that this isn't quite true, but if you really think about it, it is.  Everything you've ever done in your life cannot be erased.  Some choices don't effect anything.  Some choices never go away.  You can pay the price for those choices, but they are still there.

Tough lesson.

I pray for my children all the time.  I pray they make good choices.  Wise choices.

When they were little, their mistakes were simple and generally I could fix them.

Now, it's not so easy.

I imagine that God gets frustrated too.  We have His word.  We know the rules.  We know right from wrong.  Yet we all still make choices that impact our lives negatively.  God doesn't fix our mistakes and sometimes in the midst of the storm, when we wonder where He is - it is then that He is closest.  I know that.  I try my best to find comfort in it.  It doesn't always work.

I know that my son calls me when he is in the midst of a storm, created by his own choices, and looks to me to fix it all.  I don't fix it.  Most times I can't fix it.  It breaks my heart more than he may ever know.  But, my love for him is never ceasing.  He is my son and I love him.  It is during these times when I hold him closest to my heart, praying for him without stopping.  I know that when I don't bail him out he feels I have abandoned him.  

Parenting is difficult.

But, truly one of the finest lessons we can teach our children is how to do for themselves.