I was watching my girlfriend's daughter perform at a recent cheer competition.
This was an emotional moment for me as my girlfriend and I are reconnecting after being apart for 8 years. This is a blessing beyond words.
During this time I received a text from a dear friend of mine, asking me to call her right away.
Upon explaining to her (via text) my location and circumstances she sent me a text in response
"He's packing and leaving"
"He" being her husband of 26 years.
My heart ached for my friend who is devastated and alone and many many states away from me.
Shortly after the performances, the reconnecting, the rejoicing at watching my daughter showcase and my girlfriend's daughter take first place in her division - I listened to my dear friend sobbing over what had happened in her life.
She said words that pierced my heart and have made me look differently at my marriage
I have taken my marriage for granted
I have taken for granted that my husband loves me, really loves me - despite my issues, despite my mistakes (and there have been many), despite everything - he loves me
Marriage is a commitment, not to be taken lightly or for granted
Marriage isn't a promise of perfect or happiness, but a promise to be there every day
Nope, there are bills and leaky faucets, taxes and children, distractions and obligations to work and grown-up things
Sometimes we have to fall back in love with that person who has seen us at our worst, the person who stays up late with us and paces with us when we have a sick baby or a troubled teen
I'm guilty of not loving my husband fully
I'm guilty of taking my marriage for granted
In the good moments
In the bad moments
In the everyday and mundane moments
It is up to us to see the beauty and love in the little things
My girlfriend was truly what I would call the perfect wife.
Honestly, she is amazing.
Her husband left her for another woman who he says made him feel alive
Her told my girlfriend that he loved her, but he didn't love her "enough"
Despite all that, my girlfriend simply wants her husband to come back to her - to realize that he loves her
I'm in awe of her.
My head is just spinning over the words, the hurt, the whole thing
Marriage is a gift. A precious and priceless gift.
It is in this moment that I realize my life is full of precious and priceless gifts.
I hope that my sharing might help one person, touch one person.
It's far too easy to see and dwell on all the negatives - it can become the focus if we let it
Despite all the things in my life that are sad - I am blessed and I am thankful
7 comments:
my heart goes out to your friend. I feel so much for her. It is such a wonderful reminder to never take our husband for granted.
It was only after my Ex's death that I began to think on all the things I could have done differently to make our marriage work. I now know that he was a good man, a wonderful father, and fortunately, we became good friends. And yes, I also now realize that during our marriage, I could have loved him much, much better, not taken him for granted and made wiser choices. (That's a wonderful lesson that should be practiced early in marriage.) Still, even if I'd done things better, there's still no guarantee that things would been different.
We can't make someone love us. Nor can we make them want to work at a marriage. It takes 2. And sadly, hindsight is 20/20 -- we see our mistakes after we make them!
My heart goes out to your friend. A hard journey is ahead of her. Hopefully, she has more wonderful friends (and family) to help her through this.
Thank you for sharing this, Suzann.
You are so right.
I take Joe for granted more often than I should.
This is a good reminder to knock that off.
Prayers to your friend. And to you, dear sista-chicka.
How very sad. I hope she will go into this new chapter of her life with hope.
Tanya
I am saddened by your friend's delima..however, he has made it clear he has someone else who makes him feel ALIVE. Your friend need not sit there drowning in her kleenex and tears.. Call her attorney, and start the ball rolling BEFORE she is left high and dry, without a home, assets or support. Before long will be news he has started a new family.. and his old one is just to demanding..Do not listen to another word he has to say.. and by all means, be strong and do not cave in by being nice and hoping he will come back.. she does not need this man ibn her life any longer.. 26 years of being the PERFECT wife, hostess etc.. while he played around.. this is NOT his first dalliance..and won't be the last!
hugs..
been there done that..
Loui♥
God puts moments like these in our paths to make us realize our blessigs. We all are human we all make mistakes, however we can take moments and examples from others to change our lives. Being from a broken home under a similar circumstance as your friend, only it was a 15 year marriage and myself and sibblings were ranged in ages from 10 - 1 - being the eldest, I saw what my Mom went through. Simply put....I was very careful in my life when I was seeking my mate and luckily the Lord had picked for me not only my spouse, but my best friend. I thank God every night and every morning for the time spent with him. He's my everything.
I will pray for your friend....I know first hand the pain and emotional torment she will be in now and the upcoming months.
You are so right Suzann. I'm so sorry for your friend and I hope they do get back together again. I'm so thankful for my dear hubby and this post makes me want to go hug him right now. Thank you for sharing. Kathi
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