As a kid I was always chubby. Not fat, but definitely not skinny. My mother was the queen of Chips, Dips, Junk Food and Pepsi (or RC as was her favorite back in the day). I was happy though, but most likely a wee bit unhealthy. Fast forward to age 19. I found myself and got healthy. I lost weight and looked fantastic and felt even better. Then came babies and the weight struggle began. After baby #3 (at age 34) the hormones were a mess and the weight gain - well, let's just say I never got back to pre-baby and he's 10! The past 12 months or so I have been changing that, but it IS a daily struggle. I have managed to lose a little over 50 pounds, but I have a long way to go. To make matters worse, I still see that fat person in the mirror. Not very pretty, no self-confidence, just frumpy. I mean, I'm fat - I don't deserve nice stuff or to look good ever. (okay, that's my evil side talking - I really do know better).
So, the other day I was out shopping with my daughter and we were getting her some pretty fun bras and panties for spring/summer. She insisted I buy something for myself. First off, unheard of! Second off, I'm too big to wear those things - I wear the "big girl" panties from Target (or granny panties as we so lovingly call them). Well, guess what!? I bought myself some pretty "stuff" and nope, I do not look like I once did, but I FEEL better.
See, I was losing my motivation lately. I mean, I'm going to be 45 (yikes!) and my life is chaotic and frankly on most days, I'd rather lie in bed with the covers over my head than get out and face the world. Working out!? Hasn't been a regular habit lately because everyone else has been the priority. So, I was feeling frumpy, old, and well, mighty danged comfortable in those big girl panties.
Who would have thought that one little pretty thing could bring about so much inspiration!? Make you feel just a little prettier. But a little bounce in your step. Make you feel a little more like a woman and a little less like a mother, nurse, maid, cook, chauffeur, homework buddy, personal shopper, (well you get the picture). I mean, come on - no one sees them. (Okay, I don't care what the current style is - if my underwear are ever sticking out of my jeans it is an accident!) But, for whatever reason, I feel better.
So, if you're like me and you're walking around in your big girl panties (or whatever silly little frumpy thing that you've allowed to put you in a rut) let me tell you that YOU are worth it. YOU do deserve something pretty and feminine and just for you.
3 comments:
Great post, Suzann. It sounds like wearing something pretty has lifted your self esteem. Try looking at the positive side of everything if you can. I have 50 lbs. to lose and I AM going to do it so I may as well be happy while I struggle...er, work at it! And sometimes when I get down about being a maid, nurse, chauffeur, etc., I think how lucky I am to have a family and that I'm not an old spinster. For every negative, there is a positive. And remember, you are not alone!
XO,
Jane
This is good. I have more than my share of frumpy things! Maybe I'll just do something about that...
Time for me, I think, no I know, to start getting organised. I feel a little frumpy too bewcause of weight gain in the past few months. I haven't resorted to Big girl undies yet, but I have resorted to allowing other things to get out of hand.
Time for a change
Lesley
x
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