The Nether Region

Let's talk.  Let's really talk.  We all talk about it or think about it at some point.  Some of us do it, others say no.  Either way, it's out there.  You may or may not want to read the remainder of this post, but for those who can laugh about this stuff, read on.  To others?  Yea, maybe come back another time.  : )

So, my esthetician Lillian (nope that's not her real name, just her work name - and yes, most big salon-spas assign their employees "work names") has been after me for 2 years to go for it.   My reaction?  Are you insane!?  Who would put themselves through that kind of pain.  Yet, women do it every single day.

To wax or not to wax, that is the question...

Let's me honest, at 45 years old, you kinda think - nah.  Leave it alone.  But, then truth is, curiosity got the best of me.

Yup, I finally did it.  Lillian was thrilled beyond words!!  James (the appointment setter that I always speak to at my spa, and yes, he's gay) was tickled pink (no pun intended) that I was FINALLY going to give it a whirl.  At one point I felt like I was announcing my engagement with the hoopla surrounding my choice.  But, it kinda is a big deal.

So, Lillian explained the procedure briefly to me and mentions that I may want to take a pain killer and have a nice cocktail prior to coming in.  If nothing else, take some Ibuprofen.  Yup, not something you necessarily want to hear when you sign up for this procedure.  But, it had to be said.  In the effort of fairness, and complete horror of what might possibly be different about my Nether Region than other women's, I did share with her all the issues I worried I might have.  Then as if I was somehow compelled by an unspoken law, I asked the silly questions as well.  You know the ones.  Has anyone farted in your face?  What shall we chat about (if anything) while you are doing this?  How shall I prep?  etc. etc.

All questions being answered, the appointment made, now it's a waiting game.  You know, wait till your appointment date & time.  Wait until it's all grown out to the appropriate wax length, and so on.  I then began to discuss this at random with other women.  Do you?  Have you?  Do you know anyone who has?  And then I told people.  Makes it impossible to back out.

The day arrives.  Not too nervous, but nervous enough.  An hour before the procedure I took Ibuprofen (a lot) and poured myself a nice large glass of wine.  Got into my baggy boyfriend pants and granny panties (Lillian mentioned lack of friction might be an issue afterwards) When it was time to leave I grabbed a travel coffee mug and filled it with wine.  Got in the car (hubby was driving) and headed on out.

End result and final opinion?  Do it.  It's wonderful and awesome and truly NOT a bad experience at all. I would absolutely recommend not having a stranger perform this procedure, since it's an intimate exposure, and definitely shop around for who other gals recommend.  Was there pain involved?  Yes, but minimal.  Was it briefly uncomfortable?  Absolutely.  Will I do it again?  You bet your sweet patootie I will.

Gym Shorts

Okay, I'm way overdue for another edition of gym stories.

Last time I promised to talk about a few things or people...

Let's start with Alejandra, the Pilates Guru.  This is one crazy lady.  She reminds me of the trainer on Real Housewives of the O.C..  Right down to where she has a very heavy spanish accent.  This lady was insane and had a perfect body.  She made me laugh at myself.  After understanding WHAT she was saying (took forever to understand the word 'yellow') I then had to question her sanity when she asked me to do things that I am certain are not humanly possible.   Well, at least for this human.

Luke.  Ahhhh  Luke, the personal trainer.  He seems friendly enough, but I think he has a very deep rooted mean streak.  One day after he worked me out, even my boobs hurt.  Yup, you read this right.  My boobs!!!  And he laughed about it.  I couldn't walk or move my arms for 3 solid days.  It is truly sad when you're yiping "ouch" every time you move at all.  But Luke, in all in his sick sick moments, laughed and said, "Good!  Then we're doing well!!"  But, I am thankful for him and his twisted ideas of pain.  They are helping to reshape me.

Ahhhh...August the massage therapist.  When we re-joined the club we got a LOT of perks.  One of them being a massage, which I promptly claimed.  I have never had a massage.  I know, shock!  Okay, close your mouth, it's unbecoming.  LOL.  So, I was thrilled to get my first massage!!  August was maybe 5 foot tall and all of 100 lbs.  No way is this little thing going to even get me to relax with this massage.  Silly me.  For 30 minutes (I swear it was longer) this little thing massaged her heart out.  Not sure I actually relaxed at all, but I definitely got a massage.  The next day??  I was horribly ill.  I swore I had the flu.  I learned, however, that a massage can (and usually does) release toxins in your body.  The cure?  Get more massages.  Seriously.  Insane.

Hoppy Hannah...
Oh poor Hannah.  She hops when she runs.  Entertaining to say the least.  Literally she HOPS as she runs on the treadmill.  I've never seen anything like it.  I feel so bad for her knees.  She's not a big by any  means, but all that jumping truly is bad for the knees.  But, definitely awesome for entertainment purposes.

Camo Carol.  Every single day Camo Carol wears the same thing to the gym.  These khaki colored shorts and a camo tank top, khaki colored socks that go mid-way up her calf and khaki colored velcro "sneakers".  She always goes immediately to the elliptical trainer in front of where I am usually working out. It's predictable and crazy and entertaining.

Recently?  I've joined weight loss boot camp and the spunky little Carlos who runs the class is so danged perky that I would have sworn he was a cheerleader in a former life.  He yells, pushes us to go for more, and is always upbeat and well - despite being such a little spitfire, I like him.  He makes me think and push and well, I'm really starting to like him.

More soon...

Gym Shorts

By now you've figured out that I'm back at the gym and you know why.  To catch you up to speed, the weight loss had been moving along great and I've hit a wall.  I know that I need to move beyond this wall to achieve my goals, but I feel like I'm stuck and I have been for a good month now.  This week I will shake things up.

In case you didn't know, I'm a people watcher.  At some level we all provide entertainment in our normal behaviors.  I know that I do.

There is a new group at the gym.  They travel in a pack.  There's four of them.  I call them the Paki Posse.  Yup, 4 men - Indian (hence the Pakistani).  Yes, I realize they might not be from Pakistan, but for the sake of a cute nickname, that's what I call them.  They seriously crack me up.  They travel together always.  The four of them get on the elliptical machines, workout for "their time".  Then all four get off, and move to the recumbent bikes, workout for "their time" and all four move to the next station.  They are never ever apart.  Cracks me up.

I have also seen two men that we will call Sweaty Stan and Sweaty Steve.  Sweaty Stan was on the treadmill in front of my elliptical.  He's just running away like nobody's business.  Then I notice that his black shirt is really soaking wet and his hair looks like he just stepped out of the shower.  That's when I realized that everytime his foot lands on the treadmill sweat sprays off of him onto the people on either side of him and all over the treadmill.  This went on for a full 20 minutes.  I would have died if I was working out next to him, but the people that were the recipients of his sweat shower seemed oblivious.

Sweaty Steve was at least a good looking guy.  LOL.  And truly, a bit less sweaty.  I was on the stair climber (honestly, I do not know the true name for this machine, but it is killer).  And directly in front of me is a row of treadmills.  Here comes Sweaty Steve, and he cowboys up to the treadmill and starts his run.  He is sweating so much that this sweatpants were wet in the butt.  Truly an awkward moment.  LOL

Coming up in a future post I'll tell you all about my trainer Luke, Alejandra the Pilates Guru, August the massage and hip hop chicka, Hoppy Hannah, and Camo Carol.

Meanwhile, let's keep our fingers crossed that I am able to break through this wall once and for all this week!!!

Catching UP...

Let me just start out by saying that working a full-time job, working out daily, and keeping up with my family (which is honestly lacking) has left me with no time for blogs or blogging.  In fact I barely have any time to even bop around on facebook.  (I know, poor me, right!?)

So, work?  I'm loving working.  Really, I am.  There are always bumps in the road, but overall, I am blessing my family with the money and I am a happier person overall.  Shocking when you think about it.

We also discovered that it is much easier for me to get a productive workout in at the gym as opposed to at home, simply because of time and privacy issues.  Focusing and not be disturbed in a houseful of people is not an easy achievement.  When you realize that it isn't fair to be angry with your family for living in their own home - you decide to workout elsewhere.

So, to the gym you go.

With the gym comes discoveries.

With the gym comes people watching.

With the gym comes sore muscles.

With the gym comes much laughter.

Stay tuned for those silly and wonderful stories...